Today,
right now,
I celebrate
Me !!!
My capacity to love,
to accept,
to be in life,
as it is,
right now.
Trusting, trusting, trusting,
come what may.
sj – 16 october 2023
Mahalo Ke Akua
that’s my family — mom, dad, aunt, siblings and two best friends — moi ? front row, second from the left
What does that mean exactly?
How can we just BE in this moment when there’s so much to do!
Projects.
People to see.
Bills to pay.
Life to live.
Earlier today I saw this word online: Focus.
A popular online personality said that she is going to make it her main word for the year –FOCUS. As in focus and get things done.
Okay, I thought, Yes, I do seem to get a lot done when I focus. It is definitely how I’ve been conditioned to BE in this world in order to be a productive, contributing member of society.
And yet . . .
There’s soooo much beauty. Soooo much peace when I’m BEing in the now. Savoring each breath. Noticing what’s going on around me. Within me.
And then I thought of TRUST. What it means to trust.
Okay, if I’m telling myself I need to focus. Put myself on some kind of a schedule. THEN I’m telling myself that I HAVE TO be that way in order to be productive. In order to accomplish whatever. Be a good citizen. Contribute to society at large.
And if I don’t, well, I’ll be a failure. Tossed about at the whim of whatever pulls my attention this way or that.
*****
And that brought me to some day in time when an image of a boat being tossed about at sea was the topic du jour. The warning of what can happen when one lives a life unplanned. Unfocused.
*****
And yet . . . when I reflect on my life, I recognize how unconventionally I’ve been living. How I have been letting myself be pulled this way and that by whatever is grabbing my attention in the moment. And still . . . in the midst of it all, I have been productive. Have accomplished things that could be considered successful to the outside world.
All while letting go and allowing the current to take me where it will.
*****
Okay, Sj, what are you trying to say?
Well, I think I’m trying to say that it’s possible to do both. To BE in the now and also focus on whatever interests us in the moment.
Because I’m realizing that being focused is as much a part of my nature as is daydreaming.
When I read a good book, I get lost in it. That’s focusing.
When I’m writing whatever, I get lost in it. That’s also focusing.
And when I used to compete in sports, I’d get lost in the moment. Thinking of nothing else except what I was doing. Another form of focusing.
And ALL part of my nature. Who I am.
So . . . on this Saturday morning when I thought I’d be out the door by now, I’ve been pulled to sit and write. To think and reflect.
Was it wrong? Should I have been doing something else?
No.
Because I’ve come to trust this guidance so well.
To trust my soul’s promptings.
It’s gotten me to where I am now. And this now is really, really good. ;-)
xoxox Sj xoxox
P.S. I made an Sj from the Heart video a few weeks back called “Being in the Now.” I had it scheduled to post on YouTube sometime in March (another video was going to be posted today), but . . . in the way that life just keeps unfolding and continually showing me that I’m not in charge, I changed which video would post today to the one you see below (to match this blog post). And there you go. Life is always, always changing, and we’re always, always being guided. ;-)
P.P.S. The image above is of a shower curtain, lol, being tossed about at sea. It is available for purchase if you like it. No, I don’t make any profit off of that, lol. Just find it funny that the image I found that I like is for a shower curtain. Also saw that it comes as a mouse pad and rug. Again, lol.
Hmmm, epiphanies.
What are they?
For me, they’re those moments
when in a blink of an eye,
your life changes.
For in that split second
you suddenly just KNOW something that you didn’t before.
And in the knowing, you wonder,
How could I not have known?
Because you couldn’t.
Up until that moment,
you simply could not.
Give us an example, Sj! I hear you say.
Okay, I shall.
In the past month, I was driving my van Pegasus (aka Pegi) when ALL OF A SUDDEN I just KNEW that I could ENJOY the moment. THAT moment. Relax INTO it. BE in that moment.
I didn’t need to wait until my work was finished. Or until I’d paid all my bills. Or even until I’d written another book. But in THAT moment, while driving my van along some country road, I could simply relax. Be.
No matter what was going on.
Around me.
Within me.
In any moment, I can simply BE.
Even in the midst of tragedy, Sj?
Yes, even in the midst of tragedy.
In times of despair?
Yes, even in times of despair.
For every moment is a gift.
Each breath is
an act of grace.
And for that, I am extremely thankful.
“What’s been happening, Sj? You’ve been in Spain three weeks now. You told us that it was a mind-+&^%$#k moving into another language. You sent us a short video of street music, but that’s it! Are you still alive? Still engaged? Still learning?”
Sí
Sí
y
Sí
“Kay, but what’s been happening?”
Loads. Bunches. Heaps. Muchas. All KINDS of things!
But what I’m finding is that what I most enjoy is simply being.
Being in Spain.
Being in Europe.
Being on this planet.
A walk to school is an adventure.
Turn here? Or there? Haven’t been on this street yet.
I stop. I look up. I love the architecture. The little balconies. The high windows. The clothes hanging on the accordian-like clothes lines which protrude from the base of random windows. The donging of cathedral bells. I love the city gardens. The green tomatoes I pass as I go down about 5,000 stairs when leaving the villa I’m fortunate enough to be living in while I’m here (in San Sebastián).
I love the random hazelnut in my muesli that I’m currently eating.
I love the view from this extraordinary top floor flat. That I can say hey to Jesus across the way. That I can watch storm clouds gather. See sailboats on the horizon. Barges. Rain upon the window panes. And lots and lots of green all around the mostly terra-cotta roofs to my right (which faces another hill where there are amazing hiking trails).
Yes, it sometimes makes it hard to get things done when all I want to do is stop and be silent. Observe. Feel. Smell.
But I’ve come to realize that that is what we’re really here to do. To be. To experience. To feel.
Sure, we have to do those odd things like go to school, get a job, and then work to earn money to feed and clothe ourselves.
But
But
But
The BEING, I feel, is the absolute most important thing.
The awareness of who we are.
That each and every one of us is a walking miracle.
A walking act of grace in the shape of skin and bones.
Each and every one of us.
So . . . Sj, what’s been happening in Spain? you ask.
Loads.
Heaps.
Mountainous piles of everything.
Next time I’ll fill you in with some particulars.
But for now, enjoy wherever you are. Feel the air on your skin. Notice your breath.
Ain’t it delicious?
xoxoxoxoxo
✫ Sj out ✫
p.s. Muchas gracias Silvia por los photos!