Category Archives: Poems by Sj

DVD cover of the Italian film "Life is Beautiful"

Life IS Beautiful

Yes, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

Last night I re-watched the award-winning Italian film “Life is Beautiful.”

This time I didn’t weep uncontrollably.

Yes, it’s still sad, but whatever in me it triggered has moved on.

And this morning while reflecting on that tragic but powerful tale, it came to me:

Life can be like that.

We can choose HOW we focus on experiences.

As a victim.

Or as in a game.

With a playful attitude.

Or not.

The horror is still present,

but the change of focus

allows Grace to arrive.

God’s Grace.

A Grace which gives us a Strength

previously

unimaginable.

 

Wishing you ALL a Happy Thanksgiving as you too reflect on how Grace

has played a role in YOUR life.

 

✫ Mahalo Ke Akua 

I just now got it.

Yes, I just now got it that . . .

 

I am the most important person in my life.

I am the most important person in my life.

I am the most important person in my life.

 

I got that for the first time today.

As in REALLY got it.

 

Down to my core, got it.

To my toes, got it.

In my throat.

Gut.

And fingers that are now typing, got it.

 

I am the most important person in my life.

 

Not that old lady who needs help crossing the street.

Or my Mom who has trouble walking now.

Or some other person who’s frantically crying out for help.

 

No.

It’s me.

Only I

Get to be the most important person in my life.

 

Wow.

 

I thought I knew that before.

 

And maybe I did on some level.

 

But today I hopped on the express elevator to the moon.

And from here it’s very, very, clear

that I’m the

most

important

person

in

my

life.

Every single person

is important.

Every

single

person.

That means

YOU.

That means

me.

That means

the person

who flipped you off.

That means

the person

who last gave you a hug.

Every

single

person.

Every

single

person.

How are YOU

going to show the next person you meet

how important he or she is?

How are YOU going to let them know you care?

I want to know.

I want to see.

I want to hear

how this call to open our eyes

and hearts ripples across the world.

Because each kind word,

each smile starts with

YOU.

Be the light that you ARE in the world.

It’s time to shine so brightly

that darkness has no choice

but to disappear.

double nickles

On this day when I rise with double-nickles in my eyes . . .

I’ve felt so much already . . . and it’s not even 8 o’clock in the morn’.

Eyes wide awake at midnight, I smile.

 

It’s my birthday!

 

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear Sj,

Happy Birthday to me.

 

Giggles in my warm bed.

 

Giggles of joy to be alive.

 

Happy Birthday me again, Sj!

 

And I do.

I sing yet again to myself.

I feel my Dad watching and laughing.

I hear my five year old self call out, “Happy Birthday me again, Daddy!”

 

And he did.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Until his last time seven years ago.

 

Awake.

Quietly awake.

Peacefully awake.

And as I lay in my warm bed covered in quilts that my sister made for me,

I gave thanks

To be alive

To be alive

To be alive!

 

And then the pull of sleep called me to her breast,

until once again I awoke . . .

 

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me,

Happy Birthday dear Sj, Happy Birthday to me.

 

And then fb called my name.

Yes, fb, lol.

I heeded the call.

Read the many loving messages.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mahalo.

I love YOU!

Happy face.

Hearts galore.

I love you.

I LOVE you.

 

Again I lay in silence,

Until once again, I awoke.

 

It’s my Birthday, my Birth

Day.

 

And as I rose, I saw another message.

One of concern

not for me

but for

another

 

Worry

Worry

Worry

 

and what called me instead was

 

Love

Love

Love

 

All there is is love.

 

All there is is love.

 

On this day when I rise with double-nickles in my eyes . . .

I’ve felt so much already . . . and it’s not even 8 o’clock in the morn’.

 

. . .

 

Faith

Hope

and

Love

 

And the greatest of these

is

Love.

 

 

–Sj

 

lotus water pond

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

On this day, I marvel at how life has unfolded.

At the moment, I am alone.
Gratefully home alone in a clean cottage.
A home magically provided when needed.
So very grateful,
So very grateful,
I am.

And I give thanks for this time alone.
This time to simply BE.
For in simply being, I am shown all that life is.
The joy.
The sorrow.
The fear.
The love.
With love ever present.
The foundation.
The roof.
The contents.
Ever present even in the fear.
Or in the sadness
And joy.
LOVE is always there.

And on this day, I give thanks for YOU.
For the part we’ve played in each others’ lives.
For nothing is an accident.
Or coincidence.
But rather each bumping into
and seemingly chance smile,
is a nod from the Divine.
A reminder that we are
LOVED.
That we
ARE
love.

And with this
virtual
bump,
I send
all the love
that I am
to
YOU!!!
x
x
x
o
x
o
x
:
)
Happy
Happy
Thanksgiving!

Orchid on Kaua'i.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow

She starts a job, but she never finishes it.

She writes a poem, but she never proofs it.

To complete, to finish is to resolve,

and to resolve means

to move on.

and moving on means an

action must be taken,

a step must be

made,

and it’s so much more comfortable

to wonder,

daydream,

and

fantasize

about

the end

which

will

never

come.

Written January 25, 1994.

Miloli‘i

by Tony LeHoven

Miloli‘i

The moment I set my foot down on the sand,

the shock of the feeling startled me.
Home.
I was home.
For a moment, the disorientation
was palpable.
Home?
But in less time than it took to reach down
and slide the kayak up onto the beach,
it passed.
Not the feeling,
but the surprise.
Yes, the feeling
had entered my body
so completely,
so thoroughly,
that it was simply a fact.
A knowledge that had always
resided in my gut.
Unbeknownst to me.
Home.
As the next days passed,
the peace,
calm,
and
surrounding stature of the
mountains,
large black boulders
on the shore,
monk seals rolling
in the sand,
continued to permeate my heart,
until the feeling,
the knowledge
had so imbedded itself
that I wasn’t surprised,
when I paddled away,
that I felt sick,
sick to leave the home
of my heart.

Jack of Spades playing card

What I came here to do . . .

written 8/24/2010

I came here
to be
to live
to learn
to grow
to expand
to have fun
to laugh
to play
to rest
to love.
Aloha Friend,
I decided it was time to meditate. T returned from a bike ride (which I chose to pass on because I had things I wanted to do here) and his spirit was obviously lifted. I met him on the road with Rocket Girl. She and I had gone for a short walk . . . to have some space after completing what I’d wanted to do.
It was time to rest. T said: I’m going to meditate now. Yes, I thought, now is a good time.
And you know what, as I sat down outside on our Fido bench, almost immediately the fogginess came. It was good. I was calm.
And then those darn mosquitoes got me! (even with my socks on, they went for my arms) lol
So I came inside to the fading light in my room.
And again became calm . . . this time with my eyes closed. My eyes were tired.
And as I pondered things, gave thanks for things . . . thought about the house-of-cards which was my belief system, which had been built on the foundation of my parents’ home . . . . which fell yesterday . . . I could really SEE them falling . . . it felt a bit like an Alice in Wonderland moment . . . and there you were on Skype watching it. And I thought about money, income and how the video business was simply one channel . . . and how I’d always known that . . . I remembered the man with no teeth who gave us food when we were hungry . . . I saw him . . . I felt him . . . I blessed him.
And when I began to think about what I came here to do . . . there was nothing . . . so I rested.
And then the words came pouring.
I came here to be, to live, to learn . . . wait, whoa, I thought. Let me go through you one at a time.
to be . . . yes, simply to be . . . to be still . . . silent and calm
to live . . . yes, to enjoy my body, to run, to bike, to swim, to play soccer . . . to enjoy my body and LIVE!
and then it came
to learn . . . to read, to absorb . . . . to read and read and read
to grow . . . and with that came expansion.
Yes, I came here to expand . . . to expand my consciousness, to expand my awareness, to grow.
And along with this came the thought that I came
to push myself.
To push myself to try new things.
To try scary things and in doing so,
to learn, to grow and to expand.
And then I realized, I also came to rest.
Back to the start really.
to be
to rest
to be
Oh, but before that I knew I also came here to play, to have fun, to laugh.
“You can’t always have fun Susan.”
The words of my mother told to me in my parents’ house.
The place where I built my house-of-cards based on their teachings.
“Life can’t always be fun Susan.”
But why not Mom?
“Because. You have to work hard. You have to earn money. It’s hard work earning money.”
And I realized that yes, I learned from my father to defer to men.
“Now if you ever race a boy, let him win.”
But why Daddy?
“Because . . . because they need to think they’re stronger.”
and I must have added
smarter,
the decision maker,
the “man” of the house.
And I felt that falling away too.
No Daddy, you were wrong.
I don’t want a man who wants me to be weaker.
I want a man who’s my equal.
My partner, but not my boss.
(and now I realize why my hackles would sometimes raise when T told me what to do, it felt like my father telling me what to do . . . )
So, with the play and the laughter, I then felt tired.
So yes, I also came here to rest.
And to be.
I sat with all that for a while and then
I went back over the list:
to be
to live
to learn
to grow
to expand
to have fun
to laugh
to play
to rest.
Is there any one or any ones that rise to the top?
That seem to have more importance?
No . . . I didn’t feel it.
So I went back down the list again.
They all felt equally important at different times.
Is there anything else?
So I sat  . . . and then this came:
to
love.
I also came here to love.
I thought of my husband.
I love him.
I thought of my parents.
I love them.
I thought of a stranger I gave food to once in Waikiki.
I love him.
I thought of a man in Seattle who asked for money as my sister said No, No, NO!
I gave him money.
I felt the love for that man that I felt then.
And I thought of Fido
and of Rocket Girl.
I love them.
And my friends.
I love YOU!
And then I rested.
And then I prayed for guidance.
I imagined how my commitments will be gone by the end of this year.
My work commitments.
The boat.
As next week I paint the bottom of Mapuana,
I can know that she will be safe for a few more years.
Cared for, for a few more years.
And the house.
The things I plan to have done to the house
before I leave.
Things to show her that I love her.
Things to simply take care of her.
Things to honor her.
She was a gift.
She is a gift
to T and me
and Fido
and
Rocket
Girl.
And then I prayed for guidance.
Spirit Guides please guide me.
Help me more clearly hear the voice of YOU,
my Divine Soul.
And I thought of the people in my life who live in Light,
and I thought of the people I don’t yet know who received my text message back in April.
and I thought of how I’m going to meet them and others as one thing leads to another,
one heart leads to another.
Doors will be opened.
Introductions will be made.
And I will find my way around this planet
on the voyage
which will open up
to me.
I could see myself in who-knows-where
laughing
playing
with children.
I could see myself in France
studying
learning.
I saw myself in the NW of France where I’ve always wanted to go
resting.
alone.
simply enjoying being alive
in my body
with my spirit
at peace.
And I felt myself travel to Germany.
I felt my arms wrap around someone
I’ve yet to meet
who I will love with all my heart.
And I pondered the infinite possibilities.
And then, it was time to rest
and
write.
I came here to
be
to live
to learn
to laugh
to play
to have FUN !
to grow
to expand
and
to
rest
all
of
this
while
I love . . .
and so it is
and so it’s always been.
: )