Author Archives: Sj

Living with Pain

We all live with some form of pain from time to time, be it physical or emotional (and I imagine there is an incredible range of all types of pain, but for me, they all come back to these two: physical or emotional).

For most of my life, I’ve been free of physical pain. Sure, I’ve had bouts of this and that like everyone. Such as? Such as: cramps so severe that I needed to be brought to the university infirmary on a stretcher. There were also occasional ear pokes due to an inherited condition which called for several ear surgeries (in order to be able to hear), but overall, I’ve lived a pain free life.

Until this past February.

On one of the most fun days I’ve had in the past several years (while sliding down a small mountain of white), I dodged a person standing atop a narrow entrance way, landing on my right shoulder with all my weight and with all the force of a quick turn.

“Molly in Flight” from “My Life as a Mule: a fictionalized memoir or a memoir with a twist”

“That wasn’t a bad fall,” he said, after a quick apology.

Me?

I stayed quiet and smiled a weak smile. Though I landed on a pile of deep snow, I could tell something was amiss. Body part by body part, I surveyed the situation. Toes? Can wiggle. Legs? Intact. (My skis were still on, as well.) Head and neck? All good. Right shoulder? Voila! I found the source of pain that was starting to creep into my arm and digits.

I smiled.

I can still ski !!!

Gingerly, and rather awkwardly, I pulled myself back up. All alone atop the ski run (the day dreamer had left), I once again scanned my body.

I think I can do this.

So down the mountain I happily skied, while staying upright.

I delighted in 22 more ski runs that day.

Oh, how I love to ski and too many years had passed since I’d been at a ski resort.

This one in North Carolina was completely new to me, a small mountain in the southeast, nothing grand compared to what I’d experienced previously in the Rockies—but a mountain with snow, nonetheless.

I was in heaven.

Until the time arrived to walk to my van while carrying my skis and boots. Once back at my temporary home, I tried to rest and eventually sleep. Thank goodness for a pharmaceutical I had with me!

Fast forward to four months later. I’ve seen a doctor several times, am having physical therapy and continue to do her recommended stretches—as well as going swimming with Honu and tropical fish, albeit in an “old woman” kind of way, doing the breaststroke rather than my beloved crawl. Still, I smile and celebrate having a body.

So . . . will this labral tear turned into a frozen shoulder ever heal? Will I be able to swim freestyle again? Live without physical pain?

I have no idea. I’m told I will, but I really don’t know. I’ll just keep taking it moment-by-moment, trusting. Something good is always hiding in every experience.

Like what, Sj?

Like lots of things. I’ll make a list:

1. Because of this injury I’ve been able to continue my French language learning (a great go-to when I realized I couldn’t work on my second book while being in such pain. Language learning has been a solace my entire life.)

2. I finally found a great program for learning French that addresses the nuances of SPOKEN French. Ch’ui très contente !!! Not, je suis très contente like I was always taught. That’s just for written French or for when reading out loud. The French really say: ch’ui, sounds like chwee to us. And yes, I’m very happy (about finding this platform).

3. I met a most wonderful young woman who lives on the other side of the states, on another island where they speak French. We’ve spent about 3-hours per week (these past 3-months) conversing in French and/or English, albeit mostly in French. There’s an easy and organic flow as we switch back and forth between languages. We’re also finding that we can assist one another in even more life changing ways (in addition to the simple language learning). It’s been one of the best things I’ve experienced in my long life. Mahalo Ke Akua.

So, how can I not celebrate that “accident” on the mountain? How can I not recognize, once again, how all of life is only ever happening for me?

“Born alone, we die alone. And alone, we shall find peace.”
sj hylton lehoven — this 6^th of june 2023

Thank you for reading my blog post. It’s been ages since I’ve felt the nudge to write publicly. The COVID-19 pandemic awoke my not so secret hermit self. I do continue to travel—I spent 3-months in Europe last Fall—but I haven’t felt the urge to post photos. However, having just said that, I do think I will share some graffiti pictures I took while in Paris. I had so much fun snapping shot after shot of compelling street art. And if I do this, I believe it would be best to do before heading south for a month—to an entirely new part of the world (for me).

Time will tell.

In the meantime, I wish you all well as you experience your own type of pain. May gifts hide in plain sight.

Aloha,

*** Sj ***

The illustration is by Jocelyne Champagne Shiner.

Here’s a Honu link that takes you to a fun short video about Honu!

Labor Day Giveaway

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Final FINAL and Free Ebook

Dear Friends,

I promise that this will be my final FINAL notice about a revision/change/adaptation of Molly’s story in my first book My Life as a Mule.

On Wednesday, June 29^th the idea plopped in my head to MOVE the bonus story “Can You Keep a Secret” from the back of the 2^nd edition version to the FRONT and call it the PROLOGUE. As soon as I did, I felt the earth shift on its axis one millionth of a millimeter—it’s finished, it’s finally finally finished!

Why am I telling you?

I’ll be having another free Kindle book promotion on September 3 to 7 (based on Pacific time starting and going till midnight) where you can download an ebook version for free. If you did this last year (or purchased a Kindle version at any time), you can remove the book from your device and then re-add or sync it again to get this final FINAL 2^nd edition version.

The one CATCH is that I ask you to please write a review on either Amazon (scroll down towards the bottom of the listing and look for Review this product on the left)

or Goodreads (or both) if you enjoyed any aspect of my first book.

I’m not on Facebook these days, so if you feel the desire to share my free ebook giveaway on your page, go for it. Please know that your time and effort are much appreciated.

Thank you for reading this far.

With love and gratitude,

p.s. I am working on Mr. Tafferty’s tale . . . it will take however long it takes to come to its final FINAL version. Really enjoying the process. ;-)

p.p.s. One of the challenges of being a self-published author is getting the necessary feedback during the draft writing process. If any of you wish to be a reader during this phase, please let me know. Mahalo nui.

***I’m heading to Europe for a few months for a 40^th reunion with college gal pals (we met in Bonn, Germany) and other adventures. I’m no longer on fb, so I won’t be posting any photos there. I will possibly post on my blog now and then (subscribe to sjlehoven.com if you want to be included), BUT I will definitely post photos of my traveling companion Pedrata on Instagram (#travelingstuffedrat or @travelingstuffedrat).

Merci beaucoup!

The Eagle, so wise

3 Replies

Dear Friends,

Ages have passed since I last posted. Being a social hermit suits me, I find. One of the beautiful aspects of the aging process is the clear understanding that we all have to live according to our own unique rhythm and style — even, or perhaps especially, in the midst of global upheaval and change.

Just a few moments ago, I felt a tap on my heart to share the bonus section I added to the 2nd edition of my book My Life as a Mule, and so I shall. I realize that my book is a strange creation to most readers . . . and yet, I could not have written it any other way.

May the *Eagle’s wise words bring you solace and hope.

With warm Aloha,

* Sj *

*Below in bold.

CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?

DO I HAVE TO?

“Molly, wake up.”

The counselor gently tugged the Mare’s mane. Her reaction—to roll onto her other side while remaining asleep—effectively pushed Miss Betsy off the narrow bed and onto the aged pine floor.

“Molly,” the Rabbit persisted, “you need to wake up.” Again, Miss Betsy tumbled to the floor.

The third try charmed Molly into opening her eyes. “Minnie?” she asked, yawning until the counselor clearly saw that this camper had ample room for wisdom teeth.

“It’s Miss Betsy,” she whispered. “I need for you to quietly get out of bed. Please don’t awaken the others. I’ll explain everything outside.”

She quickly hopped out the door and waited for Molly to join her.

As Molly wiped the sleep from her eyes, Miss Betsy spelled out what was happening: One, you’re the Indian Princess for Cabin Six; two, you are not to speak or the title will be revoked; three, the ceremony will take place at the campfire.

Speckles of light fell through the trees joining a swarm of fireflies. A silent parade traipsed through the freckled woods, heading towards a distant burnt-orange glow where Butch stood at the end of the trail waving a lamp for all to see. One-by-one he steered the solemn marchers towards the logs. Once seated, he too joined them in facing the hot blue fire.

Steam from the day’s earlier downpour filled the hollow basin, matching the fog in Molly’s mind. The somber group waited in silence until the great Eagle stepped through the mist. His wings, spread wide, flapped slowly, clearing the air and sending warmth on the cool summer night to the yawning campers.

“Indian Princess, hear me. Look not to this world. Its signposts have been marred with time. Look to the heavens and go within. All that you seek, you already possess. The earth is our Mother. Nature, our family. Treat one another with respect.

Compassion is your Queen, be worthy. Kindness your King, honor him.

As part of the whole, there is no other you. Play your role well.

Live, breathe, and soar. Though the ground may pull, the power of flight is yours.

Trust in yourself and all that is.

Secret Handshakes are a fool’s game. Do you hear my words?”

Yes, the novices nodded.

“Then remember, be who you are, and accept others the same.

At each passing year, trade your shoes for a day with those of another. Feel their pain and discover it is yours. Feel their sorrow and know your own grief. Rejoice in our connection. Together we are one.

Now go. Live the life you are meant to live, and show others the way.”

Molly must have returned to her cabin with Miss Betsy, though she did not remember. What lingered was a feeling of responsibility, for her actions, words and dreams.

We’re connected. I must remember . . .

Excerpt from My Life as a Mule: a fictionalized memoir or a memoir with a twist by Sj Hylton LeHoven, 2nd edition

Labor Day Weekend Promotion: 4-day Free Kindle Book Version of “My Life as a Mule” 2nd edition

What’s YOUR Vorpal Sword?

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A lifetime ago I earned a teaching certificate, knowing that I never wanted to teach.

Then why earn it? you ask.

Who the heck knows! But I did.

At the time, all I knew was that I didn’t know what I wanted to “be” when I grew up. But I did know that I was good at sports and loved language (hence the Bachelor of Science in education focusing on foreign language and physical education). (*)

Fast forward to 30-odd years later, and there’s Sj working as a permanent substitute teacher in the middle of a bunch of mask-wearing 6^th graders. (The official teacher chose to retire due to health reasons.)

In the midst of juggling those unexpected lesson plans — while treading water as fast as I could — I fell in love with those kids. As graduation time neared, and no one volunteered to edit their graduation video, I realized it had to be me. That official graduation video is not for public consumption. This short excerpt, however, is.

Enjoy!

I am from my 6th grade past,

      from Sponge-Bob attire and ti-leaf lei.

I am from rainbows up high and chickens down low.

      I am from Kaua‘i nei.

I am from both A Groups and B.

      from Do we come this Wednesday?

      and Which class is your fave?

I am from two teachers: one retired and one who stayed.

Both are with me always, in ways I can’t explain.

I am from Black Ships Before Troy and Walk Two Moons.

From playing my classmate’s mother and wearing another’s shoes.

I am from four-square and kickball and Do we have to go INS?

That wasn’t fifteen minutes! Can’t we start again?

I am from Math time! andgroans all around.

From Can you turn the a/c on? And—the lights OFF as well?

I am from a body that’s changing and talks about b.o.

Remember Monkey Man Mayhem?

And rolling-on-the-floor with a drum?

I am from Kumu on Wednesdays and library who-knows-when.

It’s time, Ms. Sj! You forgot—again!

I am from the land of the Greeks:

fun Olympics and marching in sheets!

I am a poet:

Haiku and Cinquain

Future Me and ABC

Kilauea School

I am from lying on damp grass with my friends,

      arms straight, bodies curled, feet toe-to-toe.

Be I in the land of Aloha or far from these shores,

My Vorpal sword is ever ready, my strengths at my core.

I am from

      my 6th grade past.

• • •

Can I go to the bathroom now?

      I hope you can!
Inspired by: George Ella Lyon

Written by: Sj Hylton LeHoven for her 6th grade class

May 21, 2021

(*) I can see now that I was already riding the Trust Train. I trusted that my teaching certificate would lead to something exciting . . . and it did. First, a job as a fitness director aboard a cruise ship, and then later a position as a permanent substitute teacher on the island of Kaua‘i — a job I never could have imagined enjoying.

(**) Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll

Recipe — and Other — Exchanges

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I love how…

these chain emails are crossing the globe: a poem exchange last week. And, today, a recipe exchange.

As most people are staying home and returning to things like: binge tv watching, sending chain emails to everyone they know, and occasionally–reading or playing games with family, I like to think that we’re all experiencing a great reset. A reset into being who we really are–and not who we’ve been conditioned to be. NO, I am definitely NOT SAYING that I am happy about the suffering that is taking place all over the world–that most definitely does not gladden my heart. But–I TRUST that each and every one of us will only ever return to the love that we are. Yes, that is my deepest belief.

So, if you’re still with me, I would love to hear what type of exchanges YOU are participating in during this quarantine-stay-at-home time. Or, other activities that you’re doing to fill your time (by commenting below–please, keep it rated PG).

And, for those of you who are are still-still with me, below is the recipe I submitted in the recipe exchange. Bon appétit!

Frittatas (as you probably know) can be made in a million different ways. With a million different possible ingredients.

In my opinion, the absolutely necessary ingredients are:

oil and/or butter

potatoes (red or white–not russet which get mushy)

garlic

eggs

cheese

Beyond that, you can add whatever you like AND/OR in these quarantine-stay-at-home kind of days, whatever is in your fridge.

onion

(This is only listed below the MUST HAVE ingredients because THIS MORNING no onions — even dried — could be found anywhere in the house.)

olives

green peppers

mushrooms

tomatoes

jalapeños

pickles

salsa

okra

…

This list could practically go on forever.

How to make a Frittata if you never have?

1. Choose a large skillet.

2. Add butter or oil and heat.

3. Add diced potatoes (3 or 4 for 2 people with leftovers)

4. Cook until starting to get tender

5. Add onion and/or garlic

6. Add whatever else you want

7. Pour the beaten eggs (3 or 4 work for 2 people, add as required to covered all the veggies–AH, you could also add already cooked meat if you so desire)

Now…this is where the STYLE differs.

a. You can cook it like for an omelette where you use a spatula and lift at the outer inside-edge of the pan and then let the uncooked egg-goo slide under (so that it can also cook).

If you choose this method, I find it best to do this in several places around the pan. If you have young children, you could turn this into a learning activity. As in, “What time is it where my spatula is? Now what time? Now what time?” This could go on for however long you can bear. Or, until the eggs are fried to a crisp and have set off your fire alarm.

b. Or, you can choose the broiler in the oven method.

For this, I highly recommend a pan that won’t melt. Something sturdy and made to be put under a very hot flame/or broiling coil.

Regardless which method you choose (a or b), next comes:

9. Add and melt the grated (or broken into bits) cheese.

Using a broiler is one of the easiest ways. But…if you’ve already been inside for a super long time, you might want to use a blowtorch from your wood shop. Or–the less scary torch that you normally use when making crème brûlée.

10. Serve and eat.

I recommend cutting the different slices as you would pizza-pie.

Or, if you have young children, you could turn this into another learning exercise of forced family fun. As in, cut the different pieces into triangles, squares, rectangles–and for the brave–rhomboids. Your pick.

You can serve your Frittata with:

crispy sourdough toast

rice

grits

tortillas

fruit

fruit juice

coffee

tea

water

or…mimosas

Again, your taste — and the state of your cupboards — will determine what you eat or drink along with your most delicious Frittata.

Bon appétit!

Mahalo to Yumna Jawad at feelgoodfoodie.net for the frittata picture. And, no, I did not look at her recipe before writing my own. ;-)

There are so many layers . . .

There are so many layers to things.

The things we say.

The things we do.

We’re constantly weaving a fabric with our thoughts, words, and deeds.

A fabric that covers the entire planet.

IS the entire planet.

An interlacing of all that we are.

So many threads!

Each

a part

of

the

Whole.
sjhl – april 11, 2020

Mahalo for your support!

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Thank you friends for supporting my first book My Life as a Mule in the TaleFlick Discovery contest.

We landed 8th out of 40 books with 131 votes. Not too shabby! ;-)

And . . . in the eleventh hour I received the most AMAZING review from an acquaintance.

I met this “true reader’s heart” (how she described herself : ) years ago when I was the waterfront director at a camp for diabetic children, * TCDC. She was a camper. I haven’t seen her since (many, MANY moons!), though I have a wispy memory of her wide, vibrant smile!

Here is what she wrote:

“There have been several great stories told from the perspective of animals that gently urge us to take a look at ourselves. (Charlotte’s Web, Animal Farm, and Watership Down come to mind.)

Now, we have “My Life as a Mule.”

This book, told from the perspective of Molly, leads us to confront our own thoughts regarding class conflict, race relations, anxiety, bullying, self-doubt, and fear. Are our perspectives our own? Or are they the ones forced upon us by those around us that became comfortable because we’ve stopped challenging our values?

Molly is a delight as she moves through the challenges of her life and matures as her understanding grows.

Thank you, Ms. LeHoven, for daring us to look at our belief systems in such a non-threatening manner. It is a book you will love reading over and over again, but also one that you will share with loved ones and strangers, alike.

Open your mind and your heart. Molly is waiting.”

Wow, thank you Ms. Marquis for taking the time to find me on facebook, buy my book, AND . . . read it! May Molly be a lifelong companion as you continue on your way. <3

With MUCH love and GRATITUDE for you ALL,

xoxox Sj xoxox

* I’m in that black and white photo from 1981 shown on the TCDC Alumni page. ;-)

Molly Needs Your Help

4 Replies

In getting the word out of her journey of LOVE

as told through her memoir: My Life as a Mule.

Starting January 15th at 10 a.m. PT & ending Friday, January 17^th at 4 p.m. PT YOU can VOTE that you would like to see her story adapted to the screen.

Hollywood producers will be following how many votes each story receives in the TaleFlick Discovery contest AS WELL AS the conversations revolving around each story.

How can you help?

By voting for My Life as a Mule (one vote per person). AND even more importantly, by participating in the conversation regarding Molly’s story.

Click on the icon on the right of the box for My Life as a Mule to vote and click on the conversation bubble to leave a comment or ask a question.

Last week’s winner garnered 4,448 votes. We’ll be jazzed to receive 100! But . . . if you can participate in the conversation and let people know how Molly’s story touched YOUR HEART, we would be most appreciative. <3

Molly’s Epiphany Tea

With love and aloha from Molly and me,

xoxox Sj xoxox

P.S. And . . . if you want to share this with your friends, well, that would take the cake!!!

Mahalo nui loa!

Being in the Now

4 Replies

Being in the Now.

What does that mean exactly?

How can we just BE in this moment when there’s so much to do!

Projects.

People to see.

Bills to pay.

Life to live.

Earlier today I saw this word online: Focus.

A popular online personality said that she is going to make it her main word for the year –FOCUS. As in focus and get things done.

Okay, I thought, Yes, I do seem to get a lot done when I focus. It is definitely how I’ve been conditioned to BE in this world in order to be a productive, contributing member of society.

And yet . . .

There’s soooo much beauty. Soooo much peace when I’m BEing in the now. Savoring each breath. Noticing what’s going on around me. Within me.

And then I thought of TRUST. What it means to trust.

Okay, if I’m telling myself I need to focus. Put myself on some kind of a schedule. THEN I’m telling myself that I HAVE TO be that way in order to be productive. In order to accomplish whatever. Be a good citizen. Contribute to society at large.

And if I don’t, well, I’ll be a failure. Tossed about at the whim of whatever pulls my attention this way or that.

*****

And that brought me to some day in time when an image of a boat being tossed about at sea was the topic du jour. The warning of what can happen when one lives a life unplanned. Unfocused.

*****

And yet . . . when I reflect on my life, I recognize how unconventionally I’ve been living. How I have been letting myself be pulled this way and that by whatever is grabbing my attention in the moment. And still . . . in the midst of it all, I have been productive. Have accomplished things that could be considered successful to the outside world.

All while letting go and allowing the current to take me where it will.

*****

Okay, Sj, what are you trying to say?

Well, I think I’m trying to say that it’s possible to do both. To BE in the now and also focus on whatever interests us in the moment.

Because I’m realizing that being focused is as much a part of my nature as is daydreaming.

When I read a good book, I get lost in it. That’s focusing.

When I’m writing whatever, I get lost in it. That’s also focusing.

And when I used to compete in sports, I’d get lost in the moment. Thinking of nothing else except what I was doing. Another form of focusing.

And ALL part of my nature. Who I am.

So . . . on this Saturday morning when I thought I’d be out the door by now, I’ve been pulled to sit and write. To think and reflect.

Was it wrong? Should I have been doing something else?

No.

Because I’ve come to trust this guidance so well.

To trust my soul’s promptings.

It’s gotten me to where I am now. And this now is really, really good. ;-)

xoxox Sj xoxox

P.S. I made an Sj from the Heart video a few weeks back called “Being in the Now.” I had it scheduled to post on YouTube sometime in March (another video was going to be posted today), but . . . in the way that life just keeps unfolding and continually showing me that I’m not in charge, I changed which video would post today to the one you see below (to match this blog post). And there you go. Life is always, always changing, and we’re always, always being guided. ;-)

P.P.S. The image above is of a shower curtain, lol, being tossed about at sea. It is available for purchase if you like it. No, I don’t make any profit off of that, lol. Just find it funny that the image I found that I like is for a shower curtain. Also saw that it comes as a mouse pad and rug. Again, lol.

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A lifetime ago I earned a teaching certificate, knowing that I never wanted to teach.

Share this:

I love how…

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There are so many layers to things.

Share this:

Thank you friends for supporting my first book My Life as a Mule in the TaleFlick Discovery contest.

We landed 8th out of 40 books with 131 votes. Not too shabby! ;-)

Share this:

In getting the word out of her journey of LOVE

as told through her memoir: My Life as a Mule.

Starting January 15th at 10 a.m. PT & ending Friday, January 17th at 4 p.m. PT YOU can VOTE that you would like to see her story adapted to the screen.

Hollywood producers will be following how many votes each story receives in the TaleFlick Discovery contest AS WELL AS the conversations revolving around each story.

Share this:

Being in the Now.

Share this:

Starting January 15th at 10 a.m. PT & ending Friday, January 17^th at 4 p.m. PT YOU can VOTE that you would like to see her story adapted to the screen.