Around Day 5 of the walk, I lost a few things.

This beautiful crystal, that my friend Amanda gave me, decided it wanted it wanted to stay at Camp Butano. Okay, crystals have a way of doing that. Jumping ship, going on a walk about of their own, whatever you want to call it. I’ve experienced it before and expect to again. Crystal gone. Shoots. I liked it. But it wasn’t mine to keep. Just “mine” to enjoy for however long it chose me.

1. Crystal gone

Number two. My earring. Now these I had bought for $5 from my friend, Lani, when she had a garage sale; she’s moved to Oahu to be closer to her daughters. Okay. That too I liked. That it was only $5 helps. But still, I really liked it. But it too decided to stay at Camp Butano. Okay. I can live with that. It’s just an earring after all, and I still have one left.

2. Earring gone. One left.

Number three. My voice.

It became clear to me, that I needed to leave my voice behind. If I spoke in a restaurant or while waiting in line for the bathroom, all eyes turned towards me. They no longer saw my deaf friends. And that wasn’t good. So I realized it was time to leave my voice behind.

This meant even when in town at a restaurant alone, I “played” deaf. My new friends might show up; they often did. I had to stay in character. Play my role.

What was this like? Playing deaf? Interesting. And at times a challenge. How to place an order? How to show which ice cream I wanted? Like when traveling in a foreign country where I don’t know the language, simple pointing and miming usually works. And writing things down or typing into my iPhone. But that’s because I speak English. I still had that commonality with the almost always friendly and helpful waiters or waitresses, or baristas. : ) Or even the little Spanish I know came in helpful yesterday when I wrote banos for bathroom.

But for many deaf Americans, this can be a struggle. English isn’t their first language. ASL is. And believe me, it’s different. That’s been part of the discussion while I’ve been with the group. Vocalizing (as a deaf person) or not. Creating a new written language based on ASL (or not). Many, many things have been discussed. What can deaf people offer to make the world a better place? (You can read sign when far apart. Babies can learn ASL starting at 9-months. Very helpful when they’re hungry, thirsty, or need a diaper change. : ). The list goes on and on.)

As a lover of language, I think it’s important for deaf people to also learn how to read and write English (or German for deaf Germans, etc.) Why limit yourself to just one language? (and I say this to ALL Americans : )

3. My voice.

And with that often came my ears. I tuned out sounds and focused on communicating with my new friends. This turned out to be rather funny on two occasions while walking. Both times, my new friends were yelling out trying to get everyone to stop and counting on me to hear their frantic shouts. I’d so trained my ears to “turn off” that these two poor ladies had to call out for several minutes before I “got it” that it was me they were crying out too. : ) Sorry Gina and Joette.

4. My ears.

The walk is coming to and end, and it will be interesting to see how it feels to go back into the “hearing” world. I’ve enjoyed the quiet. And the laughter. They all laugh a lot. Really so beautiful to hear. And I’ve gotten to know their laughs. Like Bob’s; he’s chuckling right now outside my tent.

Bu you know what? You don’t have to be deaf to not hear. Think of some of your friends or family who don’t really listen. Or yourself. It takes more than ears to HEAR. It takes an open heart, I think. How open is yours? Mine? There’s always room for improvement. Our capacity for learning and listening is endless.

And with that, I close my thoughts for the day. I love you all (even those of you I haven’t met yet : ) I know your capacity for love; it’s part of who we are. Each and every one of us.

Aloha,

-Sj out

The other day after a 19-mile walk, I just HAD to get in the ocean. Only surfers were out, and not even very many of them, but still, I just HAD to get wet. Yes, the water was cold; my feet were slowly turning into Popsicles. But still I HAD to get wet.

Now writing this, I realize that the ocean can be a very dangerous place. I live in Hawaii, and unfortunately, drownings occur much more frequently than we like to admit. SO I’m NOT advocating getting into the ocean when you don’t know the conditions, area, how to swim … but think of this as a metaphor. Sometimes it’s just RIGHT to listen to your intuition (always, really : ). YOU know your own little voice that guides you, pushes you to go for it. But more commonly (and unfortunately), it seems that people are guided by fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what others will think. Fear of looking silly or being uncool. But the only “real” uncool, I think, IS listening to that voice of fear.

So the next time your little voice says, “Hey, you CAN do it!” believe it! Your voice only has your best interest at heart. If in doubt, ASK. “What’s the highest good for me and every one I meet.” Open your mind, I think you’ll love the messages you receive by way of your intuition, an unexpected opportunity, a surprise gift (thanks Sharon : ).

Yes. Sometimes it’s just plain time to go for it. To get your feet wet. To be the only one doing something.

That’s part of what this walk for ASL has meant to me. I’m not deaf. I’m an “outsider” of the deaf community. And yet, my heart practically leapt out of my chest when I heard about the walk. My voice was telling me to go for it. To trust it that it was the right thing for me to do.

They graciously accepted me into their group. Perhaps with doubts and trepidation; I don’t know. But I feel I gained their respect when they saw that I meant it. That I really do want to learn ASL. That I really do value their unique culture.

But you know what? Even if they had remained reticent to my participation, it just wouldn’t have mattered. As long as I’m listening to my heart, my little voice, I know I’m doing what’s “right” for me.

So, the next time your little voice speaks up and challenges you to go for it, what are you going to do? Listen? Heed the call? Or sit back down with your tail between your legs.

It’s your call. No one else will even know you got a message. That’s the point. It’s all about YOU and YOUR dreams. Regardless what you decide. I’ll cheer you on. I’ll high five anyone who at least takes the time to listen and give it some thought. The rest is up to you.

-Sj out
: )

p.s. Thanks Ken for the distant spy cam shots!